Talking to your child about online safety

Our kids often jump at the chance to talk about something they like. You can use this as a starting point for your conversations around online safety. Try asking questions about their favourite sites and games, and showing enthusiasm for the things they enjoy online. This can make it easier to then talk about the things you’re concerned about.

There are so many exciting things to see and do on the internet and it can be a great place to have some fun with your child. Maybe you could ask them to teach you how to play their favourite game. Or maybe you simply cheer them on while they’re playing. Getting involved with your child’s online activity is a really nice way to keep up to date with their online experience.

If you’re not sure how to get a conversation about online safety going, why not start by watching a short video together and then discussing what you’ve watched? CEOP Education has some really helpful resources:

• If your child’s aged 4-7, the Jessie and Friends cartoons provide a great introduction to online safety (see ‘Talking to younger children about online safety’ below).
• If your child’s aged 8-10, try watching the Play Like Share animations together. There’s even an online game you can play together called Band Runner, which aims to help them learn how to stay safe.
• If your child’s older, the Ask The Awkward films will give you lots of good conversation starters.

It’s so important to make your child aware of the dangers online. Topics to talk about include:

• online bullying
• seeing things that may upset them
• potential scams they could fall for
• messaging strangers or people they only know online
• grooming
• spending money online without permission.

That way, if they do come across these things, they’re prepared and know how to react. There are tips and advice on what to look out for on our online dangers page.

Let’s say the issue of online safety comes up in a TV programme or an online show they watch. It might be that a character in the show or a celebrity has had a naked photo of them shared online against their wishes, or that someone in their online community isn’t who they say they are. Try and find opportunities to talk to them about these issues and be part of their online world.

When it comes to setting rules, every parent is different. Think about how much time you’d like your child to spend online, and the kind of sites they can use. You can then talk this over with them so you have a set of boundaries that both you and your child are comfortable with. 

It’s a good idea to talk to your kids about sharing photos and information online, and how they can be changed or misused by other people. One way to show them the importance of thinking before sharing is to ask their permission before you share a photo of them on your social media.

There’s some good advice on the CEOP Education website about sharing content that you could look at together.

Because we feel more anonymous when we’re online, we don’t always behave in the same way that we would in the real world. Talk to your child about this – how do they like to be treated in the real world, and how do they treat other people? We all want people to be kind and respectful to us, and those same rules apply to the online world. Just because someone’s rude to you, doesn’t mean you have to be rude back. Leaving someone out of a game in the playground is mean – and so is leaving a friend out of a game online. Explain that when someone’s being rude online it’s best just to ignore it, send a polite reply or stop playing – don’t let it escalate.

You may hear about a harmful app, game or website, or a new online challenge where children are hurting themselves or other people. And, understandably, you may think you should warn your child about it. However, this can backfire. They may feel frightened, or they may actually go and look for that content online, or tell other children about it.

Instead, talk regularly to your child about how to say no to things which sound fun or exciting but they don’t feel comfortable doing. Our page on peer pressure has tips for helping your children with this.

You can find out more about how to deal with harmful challenges on our online dangers page.

Of course, we all want our child to come to us if they’re in trouble. So, let them know that they can always speak to you or another trusted family member or adult if they feel uncomfortable or worried about something they’ve seen online. Do your best to make sure they know that you would never blame them for anything that might happen online.

You can also let them know that if they would prefer to speak to someone anonymously, they can call Childline on 0800 1111.

Lots of us think about taking away tablets or phones as punishment when a child misbehaves. But this can make them feel anxious and cut off from their friends. Instead, try to talk to them about their behaviour. There are lots of tips on our pages on coping with being a parent and parenting a teen to help with this.