How to help children deal with worries

The way we think affects the way we feel, so negative thoughts can make us feel bad. No one wants to think negative thoughts. The trouble is, they tend to pop into our heads of their own accord! And this goes for children as well as adults. Here are some things you can try with your kids to help them relax and deal with negative thoughts.

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Tips to help your children stop worrying

Together, you and your child could try drawing their worry – be as expressive as you like – a big old scribble is a good start! The worry is now stuck to the page and you can scrunch it up and put it in the bin.

Tip #1: Draw your worry

Mother and child painting together at the kitchen table

Tip #2: In your happy place

Ask your child to think of their favourite place and describe it to you. What can they see, hear, touch, smell and taste? How do they feel?

Tip #3: Deep breaths

Taking deep breaths sounds like an obvious way to relax – but it works! Get your child to hold out their hand and then trace round each finger with the first finger of the other hand, breathing in and out deeply as they trace up and down the fingers and thumb.

Or you could try drawing a simple picture of a flower, and get your child to trace slowly round each petal with their finger, breathing in and out as they do.

Tip #4: Get musical

Listening to their favourite music is a great way for kids to relax and feeling better. If they play an instrument, encourage them to practise – this will also take their mind off things.

Tip #5: Lazy cat

If your child’s feeling a bit tense, this exercise can help them relax their muscles. Get them to pretend they’re a lazy cat that’s just woken up from a lovely long nap. Ask them to have a big yawn, maybe meow a bit, and then stretch out their arms, legs and back, just like a cat.

This pdf has more ideas for helping children relax like a cat, and you can find more relaxation exercises like this on the Save the Children website.

Tip #6: Doodling and colouring in

Did you know doodling and colouring in can help you relax? Messing about with pens and crayons gives your brain a rest, and can also spark creativity. So you might want to try this one together! You can find more ideas like this on the CBeebies website.

Tip #7: Make a calming glitter jar

Glitter jars are fun for kids, but they also help them focus and pay attention to what they see and how they feel. All you need to make one is a clean, empty jar, some biodegradable glitter and some water. Then simply fill the jar with water and add the glitter.

When your child shakes the jar, talk to them about how the glitter is swirling around just like the thoughts in their head when they’re upset. Then ask them to focus on the glitter as it settles – this will help their thoughts to feel more settled too.

You can find more ideas like this in Children’s Health Scotland’s activity book.

Tip #8: Random acts of kindness

One way to help your child feel better about themselves is to encourage them to do something kind for someone else. This could be anything that raises a smile, for example:

sending a cheerful homemade card to a friend or relative who may be lonely
making cute vouchers that can be exchanged for hugs and giving them to family members
making a ‘kindness stone’ and leaving it where someone will find it – you can find out how on page 18 of the Children’s Health Scotland’s activity book.

More resources to help support your child’s mental health

These activity cards from Play Scotland have lots of ideas for helping children learn to relax, express themselves and explore their emotions, practise listening and problem solving and use their imaginations.
This self-care kit from the NHS has lots of ideas and activities for children, including mindful colouring, laughing out loud, breathing exercises, an emotional check-in, ways to express thoughts, a self soothe box and more creative activities. It was created during the pandemic but has lots of tips that apply more generally.